By Helga

What's in a name? The question was first posed by William Shakespeare some 500 years ago, and the answer was, "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I beg to differ.

Peter, a name we're all familiar with. What does Peter mean? To diminish gradually, to become exhausted, or ... penis.

You probably know someone named Richard. I bet most guys named Richard prefer the nickname Rick or Rich over the more common Dick. Gee, I wonder why? What were their parents thinking when they started calling their sons Little Dickie? And then they grow up to be Big Dicks.

Frank. There's nothing I like more than a Frank in my roll, but Frankly I have to be in the mood.

Rod. Need I say more?

Famous ex-Seattle Mariner Randy Johnson. Do you suppose he got his nickname, "The Big Unit," because his last name is a synonym for "unit"?

What happens when William takes a shower? He turns into a Wet Willie.

In my local phone book, there is a listing for Harry Johnson. Now there's a beaut! That's even worse than Harry Butts.

Parents, please use care in naming your children.

This concludes the Four Fat Chicks Public Service Announcement.